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You have nothing to apologise for because you are an anointed Lord of barrow boys made good.

I picture you with those resourceful cockney boys eating jellied eels and cracking jokes about Sam Fox with her tits out

Wrapping golden delicious in Linda Lusardi and Melinda Messengers tits nothing not funny or cliched about that at all, not sorry you’re a Lord and I a poet

We are far too important to be held to account for the sensitive tweeters so I knocked together a poem like a pass from a beach salesman and national footballer,

Nothing at all derogatory about a cockney eating jellied eels or a Senegalese lucky lucky man selling knocked off goods to women with their tits out and beer swigging lads from Blighty.


To defend a joke is like a Ronaldo cross into the box of a shit side where the hapless white defender scores an own goal when it deflects off his mouth just unlucky nothing offensive just very defensive.

In nineteen eighty eight on Alcudia beach a black man with yellow sunglasses sold rip off Amstrad rasta blasters and he must have been the father of the Senegal striker coz you said so Lord Sugar.

When you were knighted by the Queen in stolen Indian diamonds I bet you both had a right old laff one cockney to another and I bet you said you were just a humble barrow boy done good,

I bet the black servant of the queen ran back to the kitchen to check the score of Senegal Vs Nigeria to see how the beach salesman and footballers got on at the world cup derby.

I bet the waiter said yes boss to Prince Phillip as he suggested the electricity must have been done by a wide eyed chinaman but this is not racist at all when a royal says so but quirky.


Don’t be so serious for goodness sake that Lord Sugar is a national treasure like the counterfeit crown the queen wears as she knights barrow boys and white boys and occasionally war criminals.

Don’t be so serious  I mean this as a joke in prose and it has to be dead clever and funny because I am a poet earning zero point zero zero zero zero zero per cent of Lord Sugar

Now aint that fuckin funny when you think about it. Maybe one day I’ll fly to Alicante and hitch a ride to Marbella and hang out with Al at his posh gaff and wear Ray Bans

As the Senegal national football team sell knock off Amstrad shite to white people wanting to look as black as possible then celebrate silicon as the natural woman is booed like Argentina off the pitch.

I’m so fuckin funny but if it offends you then I’ll delete my comments like migrant children in Texas and foil.

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